Bro J, I understand your accommodation of conflicts by existing under the Watchtower roof but agreeing to disagree with their authoritarian culture and errors. This tension, as you put it, must nevertheless make your life difficult yet for the moment you are prepared to carry this burden.
To an outsider, there is another, what shall I say... incongruity... that you identify with the Watchtower “family” but not what we might call the ‘paternity’ of that family. Again for the moment you are reconciled to this oddity.
As we grow mentally which happens all the way through our lives, as time goes on we are able to see things more clearly, as we mature and have more experience of being alive, we are exposed to more information, more stimuli and more ideas. Unless that is, one is stuck inside a cult which deliberately curbs the information its followers receive and demands a narrow conservative view of life to be seen only through the viewfinder of Watchtower dogma. The family you refer to are in this latter camp, whether they support the HQ or just enjoy the social JW company with its requirements of going through the motions.
I understand your desire for good but the basis for your religion is nevertheless faulty Watchtower fundamentalism.
My thought may sound crude but since most of us have been there including me; we were infantilised by this cult and to remain there is to remain stunted in our natural growth. To be a mature human is to experience the pleasure and satisfaction of self determination and to be beholden to none other than ourselves and our closest loved ones. The Watchtower Society deprives all its flock of this birthright.